Divorce jokes

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The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to
the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board.

When she had finished, the husband's lawyer rose to his feet and
coolly replied, "Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing
of the charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed
'bored'."

Rating: 2.4 |

I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a
divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a
happy man.

Rating: 2.4 |

Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a
divorce on the grounds that her husband "beats her." The Judge,
wanting every detail asked how often it was he beat the woman.

"Every damn time your Honor," she sighed, "Every damn time !"

Rating: 1.8 |

With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been
formed called "Marriage Anonymous." Whenever a guy feels like getting
married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her
face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.

Rating: 2.0 |

A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.
He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Rating: 3.8 |

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